emlocke

emlocke logo with teal letter 'k'

  • thank you is the new i’m sorry

    if you know me, you know that i can be, will be, and always am incredibly stubborn. and if you know me and you’ve ever had a fight with me, specifically a fight in which i am, probably as a result of my being so stubborn, the antagonist, you know that my stubbornness is reflected through my arduous loathing of apologies. i’d rather mix a cd, or send a cute text message, or bake cookies and then decorate them, too. and if, for some reason, i am in a position to be hearing an apology, i’d much rather the other guy broke out the mp3’s or the cell phone or the chocolate chips and frosting, too.

    what does apologizing do anyway? it doesn’t undo anything. the concept of the apology is all about forgiveness and understanding. okay, maybe talking things through can be enlightening, but can also be a very hard thing to do!

    i’m a fan of secret code apologies. you know, sometimes you can replace actual official apologies with other polite phrases. “thank you” and “you’re welcome,” accompanied by an allusive look and an eloquent pause, are good examples. the other person has to get the secret code or it doesn’t work. but when it does work, everyone is aware of the mutual forgiveness and understanding, and it’s much less messy.

    speaking of manners, and things people with good manners say, you know how you can thank someone? thank, it’s a verb. when you say “thank you,” that’s thanking someone. so, what is it called when that someone says “you’re welcome?” welcome is a verb, but not in this context. are you “you’re welcoming” them? i think, probably, no.

    quote of the day: “i don’t get many things right the first time, in fact, a am told that a lot. now i know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls, brought me here.” – ben folds

  • times like these, i wish i was a political blogger

    just when exploring the professional possibilities of my future gets overwhelming, cnn accidentally broadcasts democratic convention producer don mischer‘s mic and i am introduced to a career that apparently relies very heavily on balloons and confetti. how did i not already know that this sort of occupation was an option? nobody in the career development center ever said anything about balloons and confetti. wait, are there jobs that involve glitter? i can see a bright and lucrative future for myself in the glitter industry.

    don mischer not only gets to be in charge of balloons and confetti, but he gets to say things like, “standby confetti” and “go balloons” and even “bring it!” and he gets to take it all quite seriously. but who wouldn’t? this is the democratic convention! the dems love balloons! and what’s a 100,000 balloons without 1,000 pounds of confetti?

    “go balloons, go balloons, go balloons! i don’t see anything happening. go balloons! go balloons! go balloons! standby confetti. keep coming, balloons. more balloons. bring it- balloons, balloons, balloons! we want balloons, tons of them. bring ’em down. let ’em all come. no confetti. no confetti yet. no confetti.

    all right, go balloons, go balloons. we need more balloons. all balloons! all balloons should be going! come on, guys, let’s move it! jesus! we need more balloons. i want all balloons to go, goddammit. go confetti. go confetti. more confetti. i want more balloons. what’s happening to the balloons? we need more balloons. we need all of them coming down.

    go balloons – balloons? what’s happening balloons? there’s not enough coming down! all balloons, where the hell, there’s nothing falling! what the **** are you guys doing up there? we want more balloons coming down, more balloons. more balloons. more balloons…”

    the rallying powerballad in the background, none other than van halen’s ‘dreams,’ and shots of a post-candicacy-acceptance-speech john kerry shaking hands in the crowd only served to intensify his desperate pleas. no wonder mr. mischer got so worked up. he thought he was starring in the 2004 convention edition of top gun! what a way to wrap up a four-day democratic blitz on boston and the us. my mom is still tearing up over alexandra kerry’s hamster anecdote.

    quote of the day: “balloons? what’s happening balloons?” – don micher’s ‘what-up’ to his red, white & blue balloon homies

  • we’ll always have camp jewell in the summer

    em locke 12: at least we have each other
    rachcl85: i was just gonna say

    quote of the day: “i believe that we are lucky, we are golden” – third eye blind

  • new roc city

    i knew ridgefield couldn’t be the only town with a wannabe nickname. located approximately 53 minutes from ridgefield, new rochelle, ny is a buzzing metropolis, streets lines with gleaming skyscrapers and flooded with fresh faces…oh wait, wrong image. new rochelle is the kind of city you might avoid after dark. but when the sun goes down, it’s only natural to play through on the – hello – glow-in-the-dark-mini-golf course.

    lauren, jenn, all the boys and i made the 53 minute trip to putt flourescent neon golf balls off flourescent neon fish (or knights or frogs, depending on the theme of the room) in a frenetic boys (minus rick) vs. girls (plus rick) battle for black light victory. i don’t remember who won, but i know it wasn’t me.

    lauren will tell you that one the way home, we nearly collided with the same woman who had given us directions a few blocks back. i’ll tell you i’m still glad she wasn’t driving! but i’ll also tell her thanks for the diet coke.

    quote of the day: “she dreams in color, she dreams in red” – pearl jam

  • staying on – an innocent girl and her boat tote held captive at the library…

    today, innocently, i went into the ridgefield public library to borrow mona lisa smile so i could watch it with my mom. keep in mind that, aside from picking up books on hold in late may and early june, i hadn’t set foot in the library since i borrowed arthur books to read with brian in april. so i’m checking out newly arranged displays and smiling at the child at the other end of the counter, who is nibbling on his mother’s library card, when my friendly neighborhood librarian begins the following exchange:

    her: aaaaaand, you have $18 in overdue fees, would you like to take care of that now? [you don’t actually have a choice, but i’m going lollygag until you show me the money.]
    me: well, wait, what?
    her: [did i stutter?] you owe $18 in overdue fees. [so, you’re the kind of girl who returns library materials nine days late and then tries to walk on her fines? do you use aerosol hair spray, too?] me: yeah, um, what for?
    her: [you can stall all you want, i have all day.] well, let me pull that up. you borrowed a video, “staying on” on [some day in june] and returned it, nine days late on [another day in june]. at $2 a day, that fine comes to $18. [which you will place in my hand before i date stamp your face.]
    me: “staying on”? a video?
    her: [don’t play dumb with me, miss punctuality.]
    me: i don’t think i’ve ever taken a video out.
    her: [i’m going to make a face at you now. it’s a visual expression of my not buying your story.]
    me: “staying on“? i’ve never even heard of that.
    her: [i’m going to point out three more times, phrasing my words differently each time but consistently making this twisted facial expression, that you have an over due fine of $18 on your ridgefield public library record.]
    me: “staying on”? who’s in that?
    her: i don’t have that kind of information in my records. [and anyway, you know you know who was in it, since you must have watched it soooo many times during the nine extra days you had it in your possession!]
    me: oh, sorry.
    her: well, i’ll take it off the record, but please be careful about that in the future. [okay, you win this time, but i’m only giving in b/c my face is frozen this way. and it hurts.]
    me: [i should be careful in the future? i should be careful of what in the future? not returning things that i never borrowed? you should be more careful! ‘staying on’ – what is that, a self-help video? ‘do i want to take care of that now,’ right. i am taking care of it! by not giving you any money! this is me, taking care of it!] thanks, and, you know, i’m sorry.

    for the record, “staying on” is a real [as real as made-for-tv can be] movie. imdb.com outlines the plot as “a british colonel and his wife decide to remain in india after the departure of the british raj in the 1940’s.” unfortunately, i can’t give a personal review. you’ll have to see this one for yourselves.

    quote of the day: “i know where you hide alone in your car, know all of the things that make you who you are.” – maroon 5

  • watch out for me in my new ride


    appears innocent enough…sound effects not audible photographically.
    Posted by Hello

  • a penchant for taking lovers

    clandestine78: on an unrelated tangent, i apparently will have a lover this fall
    Em Locke 12: oh my goodness!
    clandestine78: i hope my horoscope agrees!
    Em Locke 12: no, say it more like you’re in a jane austen novel
    Em Locke 12: “i will take a lover”
    clandestine78: haha good call
    clandestine78: but i got an IM from *** today about how he has decided that we will be lovers.
    Em Locke 12: ahhh, did he say, “i have decided to take a lover. and that lover will be you!”
    clandestine78: those exact words.
    Em Locke 12: wow, he’s perhaps too well-read in girly victorian books

    hey, whatever, i’d take him.

    quote of the day: “we are flying high, above the carpet on feet, we are airplanes today, we can do anything, we can do anything” – garrison starr

  • wednesday matinee

    will and i were bored this morning, so we up and saw spider-man two together this afternoon. the movie was good and my company was great.  my brother is so funny, he cah-racks me up. 

    i’m glad they portrayed peter parker/spider-man as less of a martyr and more of a so-average-he’s-almost-invisible guy accidentally turned purehearted-but-misunderstood superhero.  there were moments when i just wanted something, anything to go right for peter.  tobey maguire is a symmetrical division between conventional boy-next-door and clever, wise-crackin’, powerhouse superhero.
     
    i can finally appreciate kirsten dunst in this role.  there’s always been something about her that aggravated me, and i finally realized what it was b/c it works so well for her as mary jane watson.  the tone of her voice and her facial expressions have an animated quality, the red hair adds to illustrated effect and there’s no question that she can act the cartoon character.
     
    i think my favorite part was either the elevator scene, for its humor, or the train scene, for its inspiration, or the final rescue, when peter himself can finally save mj and not have to let the credit go to a masked mystery-man.
     
    the best effect was not the web, not the fire, not even the touching human emotion effect of the rescued subway passengers.  my favorite was the spider outline cutaway transition between scenes.  even i know that’s a comic book classic.  and i don’t care what anyone else says, the green goblin and his neon smog and flying saucer gave me the creeps.  but doc ock was positively terrifying.  i do have to say, i think spider-man should be one word.

    quote of the day: “go get ’em, tiger.” – mj in spider-man 2

  • light up the sky

    i promised my mom that i would go to the grocery store today, but i didn’t get around to until after eight. i supermarket sweeped it from produce to frozen foods, checked out, and was loading groceries into the van when i looked up to see fireworks over what could have been the hollywood hills of ridgefield.

    my car just sort of drove itself up to the old high school and i pulled into the playhouse parking lot and watched out the window. and then, before they were over and the traffic went haywire, i just slipped away, driving home beneath the finale’s exploding lights. this way, i never felt the letdown at the end of the show. the sky was alive even as i carried the groceries into the house.

    quote of the day: “but i want more than a touch i want you to reach me, and show me all the things no one else can see” – blues traveler

  • miss emily

    this morning i had to go clean the books and cds and clothes and garbage out of my car before it gets towed to the junkyard. my dad swooped in wearing a superfather cape to dis-install my cd player. when i saw it, captive behind the eight-foot fence wearing a barbed wire crown, i took back every bad thing i ever said about my loyal taurus wagon. larry and brian and i were lucky to be in that ford tanker when we got rear ended on the way to karate.

    speaking of larry and brian, today is my last day with them! i taught brian to play spit yesterday, so we played a few rounds, during which i caught him cursing under his breath twice! i said, “what did you just say?” and he tried to cover with, “’darn it!’ i said ‘darn it.’ that’s what I say sometimes.” right, right, that’s what i’d say too. we’ll see what mom has to say about that one. we went to see garfield in wilton and they both saved me a pink starburst. the movie was a minefield of product placement, but it was cute.

    when i got this job, i never could have imagined getting so involved in their lives. at first, they were difficult and mischievous and somewhat bland. now it’s hard to remember life before afternoons with larry and brian. i know they’re quirks and their faces and i can practically predict their moves, although there are always a few shockers, just to keep me on my toes. i will miss being miss emily!

    quote of the day: “grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.” – the little prince