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  • The February Shoe

    Do other people do this?

    When I’m picking out a new calendar, the picture on the page for my birthday month is a big factor.  I like when the whole year’s worth of images is printed on the back cover so I can see what I’m getting in to.

    It’s silly, I guess, because February is the shortest month of the year.  If my favorite picture is on the February page, I only get to look at it for twenty-eight days.

    Two years in a row, I’ve had the same calendar in my office: The Metropolitan Museum: Shoes.  And two years in a row, a pretty purple 1930s-era pump has been the shoe of February.

    Oh, right, so my birthday is tomorrow.

    I put clean sheets on my bed and fluffed all my pillows.  I’ve got my favorite t-shirt and my Dunkin’ Donuts card laid out for the morning.  There are Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (!) in my lunch bag.  My desk at work is all cleared off (there were a couple of things I just did not want to deal with on my birthday, and I put them in the bottom drawer for Wednesday morning).  Caitlin and I are getting our nails done after work.  Marie and I are going out later this week.

    I want to spend my birthday on these little things, these inconsequential things that make me feel special.

    When I turned twenty, I hadn’t shaved my legs for a week because I was having them waxed before my trip to Chile.  I spent this perfect, quiet morning at home in my bathrobe, I had lunch with my grandmom, I went to work and did math homework and ate cake with my sweet boys.  If I could have changed about that day, I would have shaved my legs.  That’s it!

    I don’t need a perfect day.  I just want the nicest possible totally normal day.

    And a new mattress.  I want a new mattress.  Which my parents are getting for me because I’m turning twenty-five, and old ladies need back support as much as they need beauty rest.

  • Observed today while waiting for traffic lights to change

    A Jeep with my dad’s initials in the license plate

    A cat crouching under the Jeep

    A child with a bagel around his pointer finger like a ring

    A cab driver pouring a cup of coffee out the window

    The “not going out of business/losing our lease/becoming a Chase Bank or a Duane Reade” signs in the windows at Fish’s Eddy

    Soggy papers in a leaking AMNY box

    A girl sprinting to beat the light (she didn’t make it)

  • Love is the greatest gift of all (but these are nice, too)

    All I’m saying is, Valentine’s gifts don’t have to be made of diamonds, chocolate, or lace.  Consider the possibilities of brass, buckwheat, and gigabytes.

    shop_valentine09

    1. Dangling Hearts Tee from Mariska Hargitay’s line.  Short-sleeved shirt available in white with red or gold foil hearts (or gold on black).  A portion of the proceeds will be donated to The Joyful Heart Foundation.  $45

    2. American Apparel Long Leg Warmer in Raspberry/Scarlett.  $16

    3. Obv.  Apple iPod Shuffle in hot pink (or red). Free personal engraving when you order online. $49-69

    4. Classic Swiss Army Knife by Victorinox. One small blade with a nail file, a small screwdriver, and a pair of scissors, fold out of this pink multi-tool.  Tweezers and a toothpick slide out from the end.  $19

    5. Nino the Bug hopping toy. According to Kikkerland, Nino is a pollinating insect. That’s a little like a love bug, right? $6

    6. Heart Maccents by MacStyles.  Show your laptop some love. $1.95-2.95

    7. Bucky’s HeartWarmer buckwheat-filled pillow.  Heat it up in the microwave or chill it in the freezer for snuggleable comfort and pain relief.  Red, lavender, or pink cover is removable and washable.  On sale $14.95 (from $19.95)

    8. Brass handcuff lariat by NYC designer Erica Weiner.  One cuff dangles at each end of a 22″ chain.  Fasten them together around the neck of a loved one.  No keys required.  $35

    9. L2 Design Collective Valentines. Smooches Gracias and Beating Heart designs, and others at Supermarket. $4.25 each

    10. My Beating Heart pillow. Are you tired of sleeping beside that clunky alarm clock like a homesick puppy?  Powered by one 9V battery, My Beating Heart will soothe your beating heart with its carefully metered rhythm.  $35

  • I’m so happy with my new camera

    My parents got me a Canon Powershot SD880IS for Christmas.  (I had to read the model number off the front of it, and don’t ask me to repeat it from memory.)

    empirestatefoggy

    In the time it took to cross the street to the promenade on 23rd street, I spun the scene mode dial to the night settings, zoomed in, and caught the great ball of fog hovering around the top of the Empire State Building.

  • We probably don’t have to worry about me doing crack either

    I’m a needle-phobe.

    I was a Ranger at Camp Jewell the summer before I started college and the campus health center came calling.  They sent notice in the form of a blank immunization record: I was due for a tetanus booster.

    The camp nurse shuttled me off to the local doctor.  I accompanied a nine-year-old with her arm in a sling and a fourteen-year-old with a head cold who never lowered the hood on his sweatshirt.  I was the stand-in counselor, responsible for the kids’ IDs, paperwork, and behavioral supervision.  That I just so happened to require my own medical attention was gravy.

    The doctor took the kids first, leaving me to sweat it out in the waiting room, surrounded by trucks with three wheels and a Fisher-Price animal sounds spinner toy that was stuck on the sheep’s baaa.  The Colebrook Family Practice collection of communal hand-me-downs.  I sorted pieces of mixed-up puzzles into their rightful boxes, pretending it could distract me from the dreadful needle anticipation.

    By the time I got my turn in the exam room, I’d gotten myself all worked up.  The doctor opened the door and my chin began to tremble.  He snapped my college admission health form to his clip board and I flinched.  He prepared the syringe and I started to cry . . . and continued to cry as he administered the jab . . . and continued to cry as he applied a bandage and I threaded my sore arm back into the sleeve of my sweatshirt.

    The doctor made his notes and signed my form and stepped out of the room.  Before the door swung closed behind him, he glanced over his shoulder at me.  I had blotted my tears with a shredded tissue and was fanning my face with both hands, hoping to look less pitiful when I faced the campers outside.

    “I guess we don’t have to worry about you shooting up,” he said.

    It was the first and last thing he said to me.

    He was dead on, though.  Intravenous drug abusers must be on crack.

    Wait, is crack an intravenous drug?

  • Yeer Inn Rev-yoo: 2008

    1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
    Flew first class.  Missed a plane.  (Different trips.)  Got a raise for more than fifty cents.

    2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
    My New Year’s resolutions were to try more new foods and to stop kissing random boys for sport.  Trying new foods (and wines) was not easy on my stomach so I cut myself a break there, but I think I cut my random boy-kissing down by about eighty-eight percent.  I’m resolving again in 2009.

    3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
    No.  Nobody gave birth while close to me either, which is an even greater relief.

    4. Did anyone close to you die?
    No, not this year.

    5. What countries did you visit?
    Texas, USA.

    6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
    Whatever it is that some people have that allows things to roll of their backs. New lightbulbs in the hallway.

    7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
    February 24: A randomly recalled brunch with Rachel
    July 5: Jill called to tell me that Kevin had officially proposed and I was officially her maid of honor
    July 28: First day back at work after my family vacation
    November 5: Barack Obama Day
    December 3: Black Wednesday in the book publishing business

    8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
    Every time I made someone laugh.

    9. What was your biggest failure?
    Dropping the ball on a lot of social engagements (missed opportunities to make someone laugh!)

    10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    A slipped disc which triggered sciatic pain which triggered depression.

    11. What was the best thing you bought?
    The tree print I got at IKEA. It may be vague, mass-produced art, but it’s my art.

    12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    The members of the ASPCA and other organizations who lobbied to protect, shelter, and rehabilitate the pit bulls rescued from Michael Vick’s property in 2007 when not even PETA thought the dogs would stand a chance.

    13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    People who abuse the little red “urgent” exclamation mark on their e-mails.

    14. Where did most of your money go?
    Rent.

    15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    Election night.  My cousin moving to New York.

    16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
    Say by John Mayer and Bleeding Love.  And I guess Paper Planes because I think M.I.A.’s licensors wanted it to be the song that always reminds everybody of 2008.

    17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
    a) happier or sadder?     Happier.
    b) thinner or fatter? Thinner but not by much.
    c) richer or poorer? Richer but not by much.

    18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
    Weight training. Writing.  Picture-taking.

    19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
    I wish I hadn’t spent so many Saturdays and Sundays pacing in my apartment because I couldn’t  decide where I’d go or what I’d do once I left it.

    20. How did you spend Christmas?
    At home with my parents, my brother, and my dog.  I slept until my mom woke me up with breakfast and I think I finally got used to the fact that my brother and I are the last ones downstairs on Christmas morning instead of the first.

    21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
    For me, falling in love is both a masochistic hobby and a guilty pleasure.  Just like falling out of love.  I did both.

    22. What was your favorite TV program?
    Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

    23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
    No; I think I hate pretty much the same cast of characters this year as I did last year.

    24. What was the best book you read?
    The Two Kinds of Decay by Sarah Manguso.

    25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    I heard a lot of new music on So You Think You Can Dance over the summer, like Charlotte Martin’s cover of Just Like Heaven.

    26. What did you want and get?
    A new digital camera.  A bottle of Jo Malone’s Blue Agava and Cacao perfume.  To visit Camp Jewell with the Liftman sisters.  To see the rainbow in San Antonio.  To meet Mariska Hargitay.

    27. What did you want and not get?
    Peace of mind.  Aviator sunglasses with purple lenses.

    28. What was your favorite film of this year?
    WALL·E.

    29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    Cupcakes. To celebrate turning twenty-four, I invited friends of all genres to Clandestino for drinks on the Thursday before my birthday and ate more cupcakes than I drank beer.

    30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    A private turn-down service at my apartment.  Firefox compatibility on my PC at work.

    31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
    “I bought this without trying it on because I can’t tolerate waiting in line for a fitting room” chic or “Wouldn’t this look awesome with a scarf or a pin or a necklace?  Too bad I never leave enough time to accessorize in the AM” chic.

    32. What kept you sane?
    Flavored carbonated water. Talia. My iPod.  My roommate. My scale.

    33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Clearly, Mariska Hargitay.  ‘Fancy’ is a neat way to describe my unabashed adoration.

    34. What political issue stirred you the most?
    The fact that as the war in Iraq goes on and on and the economy continues to suffer, I may never get to see the environment become a campaign priority.

    35. Who did you miss?
    Rachel, after she dashed off to light up the lives of young leaders all over the world.  My dog.

    36. Who was the best new person you met?
    Amy, who I still believe is meant to be my friend even though extenuating circumstances keep postponing it.

    37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
    One in four women think they sweat more than the general population and I am one of those women.

    38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
    “I don’t necessarily buy any key to the future or happiness, / But I need a little place in the sun sometimes.”—Moses, Patty Griffin

  • 2008 Faves: Songs

    My eight favorite 2008 (or late 2007) releases


    Circus by Britney Spears
    I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins. / Spotlight on me and I’m ready to break.

    As long as you’ve got my crazy, Britney, I’ve got your back!

    This Town by O.A.R.
    It’s better that we keep this close, / Keep you close to me. / Walking under every sky, / Over every sea. / You can be my modern girl, / And I can be the one you found.

    But, Honestly by Foo Fighters
    And all the words I gave to you, / Something borrowed, something blue, / If you want them back, / I’ll give it to you.

    Many The Miles by Sara Bareilles (Live at The Fillmore)
    I do what I can, wherever I end up, / To keep giving my good love.

    Setting Forth by Eddie Vedder
    This I will recall, / Every time I fall.

    Live Your Life by T.I. (featuring Rhianna)
    Some move away to make a way / not move away cause they afraid.

    Mercy by Duffy
    You got to understand that I need a man / Who can take my hand, yes I do.

    She’s Like A Star by Taio Cruz
    She’s my star, my light, starry night. / Aviator shades, ’cause she shine so bright.

    My eight most-played of the year

    Red by Sara Bareilles
    I am fading in and out, / What are you gonna do save me now, / From all of this danger, you don’t know how, / And I’ll find my way out.


    Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
    Oily marks appear on walls / Where pleasure moments hung before / The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity / Of this still life.

    And So It Goes by Billy Joel
    And this is why my eyes are closed, / It’s just as well for all I’ve seen. / And so it goes, and so it goes, / And you’re the only one who knows.

    Running by Evermore
    You don’t need a broken heart / To know a heart can be broken, / You just need to open your eyes. / We don’t need to be deceived / To know a lie can be spoken, / We don’t have to learn everything twice.

    Always Midnight by Pat Monahan
    A way to get back to you, / A way to get outta here. / I don’t want to be alone / At midnight anymore.

    This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race by Fall Out Boy (featuring Kanye West)
    And I don’t really care which side wins / As long as the room keeps singing.

    Just Like Heaven by Charlotte Martin (The Cure cover)
    Spinning on that dizzy edge / I kissed his face, I kissed his head, / And dreamed of all the different ways / I had to make him glow. / “Why are you so far away?” he said, / “Oh, won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you?”

    Party Generation by Dar Williams
    It was the kind of party that you hope never ends / . . . There was a lot that you could learn if you lay near them, / Like if you listened you could hear them and he could hear them.

  • 2008 Faves: People

    Mariska Hargitay

    Barack and Michelle Obama

    Tina Fey as herself

    And, Alrick Nelson

  • Every winter I have to remind my parents that the heaters in my room don’t work

    I dreamed the other night that I wrote an entry about all the things I wear to stay warm through the long, cold nights in my house.  It was like a recipe for A Warm, Happy Emily.  It went a little something like this:

    Materials

    1. Spandex fitness top.  A seamless style without metal strap adjusters preferred (those teeny tiny things conduct a mean cold pinch!)
    2. Long-sleeved silk thermal top with four-year-old hot chocolate dribble stain down the front.  Thumb-holes allow a bonus inch-and-a-half of wrist coverage.
    3. Raspberry purple raglan-sleeved wool sweater.
    4. Dark gray cotton/Lycra blend leggings.  (May have been black leggings in a former life).
    5. Sweatpants.
    6. One pair of wool socks, extra itchy.

    Instructions

    To achieve a warm, happy Emily, layer her in the above articles and tuck her in to bed beneath one sheet; one cotton blanket; one wooly blanket (affectionately known as “The Sully Blanket” for its resemblence to the poncho that Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman‘s Sully donned on several occasions during Season One); and one down-filled comforter.  Tuck edges in under her like a burrito.

    Sleep eight to nine hours without disturbance.

    Upon waking, wrap in down vest.  Remove itchy socks and replace them with down bootie slippers.  Serve hot coffee with skim milk and three Splenda.

  • 2008 Faves: News and views

    Ten (or about that many) articles from 2008 worth reading and remembering.  They’re not necessarily my favorites, they don’t necessarily reflect my opinion, they’re not necessarily groundbreaking works of flawless journalism, but they are the pieces that come to mind at year’s end.

    The Unstudied Art of Interrogation by Scott Shane.  The New York Times, March 8, 2008.

    Mr. Kleinman said he envisioned a new intelligence agency or subagency devoted solely to interrogation — sponsoring research, conducting training and building a team of sophisticated interrogators with linguistic and psychological skills. He speaks of creating a high-level interrogation center in the United States where settings could be customized for a particular suspect, Hollywood-style, “whether it’s a Bedouin tent or a suite at the Waldorf.”

    Who Says Women Aren’t Funny? by Alessandra Stanley.  Vanity Fair, April 2008.

    Comedy has changed on sitcoms, in clubs, and on Saturday Night Live. The repertoire of women isn’t limited to self-loathing or man-hating anymore; the humor is more eclectic, serene, and organic. ‘The consciousness changed’ is how Lorne Michaels explains the difference.

    Prison Puppies by Joseph Berger.  The New York Times, June 1, 2008.

    The tender mercy here is that a dog does not know the difference between a prisoner and a model citizen. It responds to kindness, firmness, patience and consistency.

    A Diverse Brooklyn, With Meatballs by Mike Albo.  The New York Times, July 3, 2008.

    Ikea has become a lodestone for heated discussion about the future of this village, and Brooklyn in general. Google “Ikea Brooklyn,” and you find a flurry of blogs, Web sites and organizations contending that the Ikea project forced unfair changes in the zoning rules, broke environmental laws during construction and, in a cultural sense, bleeds Brooklyn of its character and charm . . . But walking through the maze of home furnishings, I saw what I love about Brooklyn: everyone.

    Can green be groovy? Economist.com, July 21, 2008.

    There are several drawbacks to the flaky, faddish school of greenery. The first is that trends come and go, yet the planet will still need saving if Dr. Earth and his ilk decide they are more interested in macramé or tae kwon do.

    Black and Blacker: The Racial Politics of The Obama Marriage by Vanessa Grigoriadis.  New York magazine, August 10, 2008.

    At the [Sidley Austin law] firm, Michelle was assigned to be Barack’s mentor, but she began with suspicions. “Everyone was raving about this smart, attractive, young first-year associate they had recruited from Harvard,” she’s said. “Everyone was like, ‘Oh, he’s brilliant.’ I said, ‘Okay, this is probably just a brother who can talk straight.’ ”

    Stop, Thief! by John Colapinto.  The New Yorker, September 1, 2008.

    [Brad] Brekke had the revolutionary idea of creating a crime lab inside [Target’s] office headquarters.

    The Falling Man by Tom Junod.  Esquire Magazine, September 11, 2008.

    Some people who look at the picture see stoicism, willpower, a portrait of resignation; others see something else — something discordant and therefore terrible: freedom . . . He is, fifteen seconds past 9:41 a.m. EST, the moment the picture is taken, in the clutches of pure physics . . . In the picture, he is frozen; in his life outside the frame, he drops and keeps dropping until he disappears.

    Thumbspeak by Louis Menand.  The New Yorker, October 20, 2008.

    [David] Crystal’s answer is that texting is, partly, a game. It’s like writing a sonnet (well, sort of): the requirement is to adapt the message to immutable formal constraints. A sonnet can’t have more than fourteen lines, and a mobile-phone message can’t have more than a hundred and forty bytes, which is usually enough for a hundred and sixty characters. This is a challenge to ingenuity, not an invitation to anarchy.

    Never Let Them See You Sweat by Kate Zernike.  The New York Times, November 29, 2008

    People tend to think that the confrontation produces the reaction; if you’re faced with an irrational rant, who can blame you for falling apart? But researchers in emotional regulation tease out a factor in between: how we think. Between the “a” of the antecedent and the “c” of the consequence, they argue, is the crucial “b,” for belief, which in the case of the person melting down might sound something like: my boss hates me, everyone hates me, I’m a total failure.

    That is the opportunity for emotional regulation.

    Bargain Hunting for Books, And Feeling Sheepish About It by David Streitfield.  The New York Times, December 27, 2008.

    ‘With the Internet, nothing is ever lost,’ Ms. Lesser said. ‘That’s the good news, and that’s the bad news.’