Category: Undergrad Stories

this morning, i woke up to an elaborate breakfast in the kitchen. croissants, strawberry jam and chocolate chai. pink roses and birthday cards. my mom left my present in a red velvet pouch on my plate. she gave me the pearl necklace she wore on her wedding day, which i absolutely love. i couldn’t have imagined a present more special than that on my 20th birthday.

the weather was beautiful today. the air outside smelled like melting snow and sun on the pavement. i drove to the gym with the windows rolled down and the radio playing. between classes, lauren called my cell to wish me a happy birthday. i worked out for almost two hours and left with endorphins flowing and went home to meet my grandma, who came over to give me birthday kisses.

i had to work late, but the kids and their parents got me a cake and sang and lit candles and everything. it was so cute, the kids kept the secret all day and then they said, “cha cha cha” between every line of the birthday song and told me to make a wish but definitely not to tell them what it was. they’re pretty sweet.

it took me until tonight to realize that i am no longer a teenager! does this make me a twenty-something? well, i like it so far. my birthday was bright and happy and sweet.

quote of the day: “the first time her laughter unfurled its wings in the wind, we knew that the world would never be the same.” – brian andreas

lauren goes back to school tomorrow. the last of the winter breakers is peacing out of ridgefield. it was good to have her here, knowing that she exists, as bored as i am, just a mile down the street. thanks for adding a social pulse to my january, and for reuniting me with john mayer, lauren! i’ll miss you! and with her departure, i guess my own design-your-own winter break, the timeline of which was under my complete control, comes to an end.

i’m kicking myself b/c i was too tired to go to the gym tonight before it closed at 6. instead, i came home from work and crashed under the covers, which i needed b/c i was completely drained. but now it’s 10 and i’m wide awake and wishing the ridgefield rec was open late every night! or that i had an elliptical trainer and a full weight training circuit, oh, i don’t know, maybe stored under my bed?

i joined the wellness center to tone up and lose what i like to call “the transfer ten” and the “finals five.” and also to build up my endurance before i have to single-handedly propel a kayak up the coast of chile. i never thought i would love it so much. i actually like getting ready and going in every day. and i like that, b/c i spend an hour or more at the gym, i’m drinking more water and actually eating enough protein and consciously taking care of myself on a daily basis. every day i feel stronger. and, i have to be honest, i love having a good reason to wear my sweatpants out of the house!

quote of the day: “part of where i’m going, is knowing where i’m coming from, i don’t want to be anything other than what i’ve been trying to be lately, all I have to do is think of me and i have peace of mind.” – gavin degraw

virtually, i’ve been counting down the days to february 10th since the end of january, but it really didn’t kick in that i’m turning twenty in less than 150 hours until this morning. i called my mom at work to ask a rapidfire laundry list of questions about errands to run and people to call today, and, after answering all of them in one breathe, she said, “what i really want to know is, when can we go birthday shopping?” she’s so cute. i told her that she can wrap up gear and clothing for my trip as it comes in the mail.

the truth is, i have been far too preoccupied with work outs, heavyweight sock research and comparison, job interviews, and vaccinations (ouch!) to get excited about turning 20. i was completely surprised when my mom brought up the double decade anniversary of my birth. that was the last thing i expected her to say! but now that i’m thinking about it, i remember how much i like my birthday. it’s special. for one thing, i love opening pretty birthday cards. and i love getting hugs and cheesecake. and, you have to admit, two decades is a pretty long time. it’s a big event.

you know you’re getting older when your memories come in larger increments. for example, i learned to read fifteen years ago. i wonder how many books i’ve read in fifteen years?

quote of the day: “life is full of obstacle illusions.” – grant frazier

i’m a chatterer. if i get cold, i chatter. if i get excited, i chatter. if i get intense, i chatter. if i pass out and go into shock on the floor of the camp jewell trading post, i chatter. tonight, i was at starbucks with lauren and jess, and i got so involved in our conversation, and there was a mild draft. i was a trembling wreck. every time i get out of the shower, i’m just one big shiver. and now, i’m sitting at my desk and i’ve been twitching with chills since i came in from the car.

my fingers are the coldest. this afternoon, i had to give up on knitting and sit on my hands b/c i kept dropping stitches. right now, they lie, exposed, on the keyboard. i keep missing keys, my knuckles are cracking and my pinkies are sort of numb. in fact, my fingernails look a bit blue. like they’ve been in a parisian meat freezer overnight? brrr. i think it’s time to get in bed.

quote of the day: “crooked little smile on her face, tells a tale of grace that’s all her own. spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song, a little girl with nothing wrong, and she’s all alone.” – norah jones

my dad and my brother totally wired my room today. in an effort to lure me from the pink room (a shallow emily-shaped depression was forming in the carpet) and reclaim it for their own, they ran cable and dsl lines through the closet and installed a brand new outlet in my wall! so, i am currently stationed at my desk, in an upright position, no less, and my body is no longer on the way to becoming a dusty relic next door.

i’m thinking about re-arranging the furniture to improve accessibility to the laptop and view of the tv. and you all know how i love to redecorate. unfortunately, this project could be easier organized than implemented. my bed itself is a relic! my dad found it in a barn when he taught math at hoosac school and it’s been passed down to me. it’s brass and iron, which makes it heavy and practically immobile. it very well might take my whole family just to take it apart.

keep your fingers crossed for me as i work out the details of my outward bound trip. filing forms, shipping gear, etc, in time is proving to be a formidable endeavor.

quote of the day: “and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with” – csny

finally, finally called outward bound this morning and registered for chile!

my dad and i headed out for my great uncle lloyd’s funeral down in new j this afternoon. i didn’t actually know my great uncle lloyd, but i wanted to drive down and spend some time with my dad. good thing i love him so much, b/c when we got to the church at 4:00, we discovered that the services are next friday. oops. so, we drove over to wyckoff, where my dad grew up, and stopped in front of his very first house, which is still red, just like it was back in the sixties.

then we drove over to his other house, which i vaguely remember b/c my grandfather lived there when i was a kid and it has a pool. it was the scene of the great mini marshmallow fiasco of the 20th century, when i threw a fit b/c, even though my mom would have fed me all the mini marshmallows in the world, she would not let me carry the entire bag around in the basket of my new cabbage patch kids tricycle. and i would settle for nothing less than all the marshmallows, all at once.

we also stopped to visit my grandparents’ headstone at the cemetery, which required some hunting b/c neither of us remembered where it stood. we bought white bread and sugar cookies at the wyckoff bakery, and headed home as the sun set.

lisa loeb and her boyfriend dweezil zappa premiered their show on the food network tonight! no, it wasn’t a dazzling display of culinary insight or talent, but who am i to judge? lisa narrates the show, and i find her speaking voice just as endearing as her singing voice. both artists are just sweet and adorable, and i think traveling the country, hitting hot spots and best-kept secrets and sampling as amateur food critics and as a couple is a cute concept.

quote of the day: “looking through my window at the big, blue sky, the lazy sun is shining, so i run outside” – lisa loeb

the angel food cake i baked yesterday (that’s right, double layer, vanilla frosted, moist and fluffy) is practically crumbs. it didn’t stand a chance against my ravenous family. luckily i have a personal stock of chocolate reinforcements in the form of a symphony almond and toffee bar. it’s being rationed, due to potential weather complications. my mom and my brother were home with me and maggie all day today, and school may be cancelled again tomorrow. the wind chill temp outside right now is a frosty -24.

i remember how exciting snow used to be, when the prospect of cancellations or delays had everybody making predictions online and watching the news strips along the bottom of the tv screen. oh, i miss waiting, with bated breath, for the all-powerful superintendent to make the ultimate call. i used to pretend to be ambivalent or completely oblivious, when really my heart raced every time a news bulletin ran, or especially if the phone rang late at night or early in the morning. and i always wanted to be the first to hear the news and broadcast to everyone else.

quote of the day: “dig and be dug in return.” – langston hughes

home from camp today. it was bittersweet. when rachel came into the dining hall, she said, “we were all thinking we’d come up to camp one last time, but when i drove in…now that i’m here i don’t know how i feel.” no one will say what will happen next summer, and everyone understands that there will be ‘staff turnover’. i guess that means we all have to start looking at camp as a business and an employer, which doesn’t feel right. i don’t like to think of it that way. but i did have a really good time at reunion. the lake was frozen eight inches and they had made snow on the tubing hill so winter activities were abound. alana and i got to make all the staff buttons and unlock all the cabins. that’s right, they gave us the master keys!

rach was assigned to the older kids, but sam and i got to stay in the boathouse. i figured everyone would want to sleep in the big room with the porch, but jackie and gabby were thrilled to sleep in their old beds in bha. those girls are so great. i just wish jessy had been there so we could have kept the young ladies up all night with our homestar impressions. sam and i had eleven really great nit nois and we played george and mafia, ran (well, slipped) around on the ice and drank a lot of hot chocolate.

william cracks me up. he came over to talk to me at breakfast this morning and was standing on my left side, so i asked him to move over and speak in the other ear b/c, obviously, i couldn’t hear him. so he takes two steps and without missing a beat he starts mouthing words silently on my right side and just looking down at me with this deadpan expression. rachel told me that he put this bag on his head last night and stood up in the middle of the room and said, “so, is everybody ready for the hat party?” i don’t really know why it was funny, but it definitely was. he split his chin open on the tubing hill though. that daredevil. after that he was restricted to playing checkers with dan mecca.

camp always makes me laugh until i cry. and cry until i laugh. and forward and backward again.

brian was in town while i was away, but he’s going home tomorrow and i don’t think i’ll get to see him. but i’m going out with the girl scouts tomorrow and spending new year’s eve with chels. i might go see holly next week, and i’m driving up to boston with chelsea on the ninth to help her move into her new room. hopefully i can visit rachel and maybe get in touch with katie while i’m there, but i’m just really excited to road trip with chels and stay with her for a few days. i’m really glad we’ve been so in touch this year. lots of things to look forward to. while i think about what i’ll be doing in 2004.

quote of the day: “for I’ve only got a moment, and the whole world left to see. i’ll be looking for tomorrow on the loose.” – on the loose

my dad made a list of things we have to do next christmas. our christmas tree is mysteriously odorless, so next year he wants “a christmas tree that smells like a christmas tree.” he also wants the members of our family to start trusting one another, so “no buying presents for yourself” prevents my mother from picking out all of her own gifts. i really thought that you could spell ‘claus’ with an e for an olde english look, but apparently my dad wants me to “learn to spell.” and next year, everyone is required to make a list. that means everyone!

i made my own mental wish list. i wish that my mom will achieve all of her goals. i wish my dad will get to travel in europe again soon. i hope that my brother maintains his untroubled, easygoing outlook on life. i hope all my friends find whatever they’re looking for and that they stay safe wherever they go. i wish camp could stay true to the jewell i know and love.

speaking of camp, reunion is on saturday! i’m so excited to see alana and rachel and hilary, who always says, “welcome home” and gives me a hug when i visit jewell. chels and william and i are driving up at 6:30 saturday morning and we’re sad that there won’t be any snow! at least i’m not sick this year, and i have my brand new sleeping bag to snuggle in. i’m kind of nervous to talk to mo about maybe staying there this semester, and about my application for camp orkila. no, i’m really nervous. i don’t really want to take that tangible step toward leaving my camp jewell days behind.

quote of the day: “sleep in heavenly peace.” – silent night