Everything I need to know about life I learned from my dad

Twenty-five lessons

– Proper broom sweeping technique
– When I get a raise, that means it’s time to work harder
– That it’s a woman’s responsibility to step in and out of an elevator first, otherwise she just holds everything up while men are trying to be polite
– The grammatical difference between ‘less’ and ‘fewer’
– That it’s entirely unacceptable to have the tag of my underwear showing
– That most people only read what will confirm what they already know
– Not to read just to confirm what I already know
– That it’s okay to hate apologizing, but I still have to do it
– That I deserve a man, not a boy
– It’s just not the same to record the game and watch it later
– To wash the car from the roof down
– To tolerate feeling a little hot in the summer and a little cold in the winter
– When someone calls me a ‘bad word,’ it’s not necessary to repeat that word excessively when I tattle on them
– To take at least a moment to be proud of myself when I know I deserve it
– If one thing isn’t working, try something else
– To check my work
– If my passenger has to wonder whether or not I’ve seen the stop sign or light, I’m approaching it too quickly
– Just do the best that I can
– Find a hobby; when the passion fades, find a new one
– How to fold a newspaper
– The posted speed limit is the speed limit, not the discretionary ballpark speed guideline
– There isn’t always a reason; sometimes I just have to trust my instincts
– To take the time to “just look” out the window sometimes, at everything and at nothing
– To offer wine to dinner guests
– To appreciate music without lyrics